Friday, January 4, 2013
Brian and his family were on their way to Nebraska to mourn the passing and celebrate the life of his maternal grandfather, Grandpa Sharp. As he drove away, I was still feeling conflicted about whether or not I should have been in the car with him. We had talked about it at length. We agreed that Sadie is both too old (to be oblivious) and too young (to really understand) to take to a funeral. We know that 20 hours over 3 days with a three year old in a car is rough (to say the least). We didn't have anyone to leave her with in Colorado if I went with Brian to Nebraska. We decided that it would be best for me to stay home with Sadie.
And then I thought, hey, if I'm going to be in town, I should go on with the house concert, right? The band is coming all the way from Durango. We booked this show over 6 months ago. Over 60 people have RSVPed. We love to do this. I'll have plenty of help. It'll be fine! Positive thinking!
I won't get into all the variations of plans I had for Sadie. Needless to say, by the time the house concert began, I was on Childcare Plan E or F. And wasn't even sure how that would go.
But I made a plan. On Thursday night, Brian and I did all our house concert preparation "stuff", which is usually done on Friday night and Saturday morning, and includes moving all our furniture and earthly belongings into the garage (obviously I couldn't do this on my own).
Sadie and I spent Friday and Friday night outside and upstairs. I slowly finished getting ready for the show. I picked and set up the rental chairs, and finished getting the house ready. I fretted about whether the band (who are young, carefree, hard to get a hold of, and were traveling through a snowstorm) would actually show up. I missed my husband and grieved for his loss. And I drank beer at lunch. In front of the neighbors. Oh well....
I'm probably sounding a bit dramatic here. What's the big deal?, you might be thinking. Well, here's the thing. This happens to me whenever I'm away from Brian in situations where I'm used to having him by my side. I'm a confident, independent, perfectly capable woman. I can parent, and host parties, and camp, and adventure, and road trip, and navigate the world very well on my own. But what makes me feel like the luckiest girl ever is that I found a man who makes all that easier and better and more fun when we do it together. It's not that I can't do stuff on my own (and do, a lot), I just like it better when we do some things as a team. Like house concerts. Not only are they logistically a two-person job (seriously), but I just feel like they go so much better when we do it together. We make the house concert magic happen as a team. And he was far away, and he was sad, and I was exhausted, and my kid was sort-of a mess, and I wanted him with me. Wah!
I may have been a bit emotional. I may have gotten a little tipsy. But these friends and acquaintances and strangers and musicians and family were all there. And we got wrapped up in each other and the music for a few hours. And it was such a good thing.
Waiting on Trail DID show up (on time)!. They were the loveliest boys (I call them boys because they are. Young bluegrassers from a college town. Oh they were so cute and sweet).
They picked their hearts out. They figured out that playing for a quiet room of music lovers (rather than a noisy bar full of drunks) has its perks. And I think they found their footing and some inspiration in this new, quiet, respectful type of venue.