This week

image credit: College For Us

This week has gone really well. I had a successful weigh-in on Tuesday; I was down 2.2 pounds from the previous week's big, ugly gain. My diligence paid off! I used the success as motivation to keep it up this week. And knowing that this weekend will present another three days of challenges, I knew I needed to keep things in check this week.

Tuesday night Brian and I only cooked half a box of pasta. We used to put down an entire box (1 pound of pasta!) by ourselves, no problem. We don't do that anymore. We could if we let ourselves, though...

Wednesday I had lunch plans at my favorite Jewish deli. I like to order the 6" tall (seriously) corned beef sandwich with egg salad. But I didn't. I planned ahead and knew before I walked in the door that I would order a bowl of beef barley soup (with a matzoh ball in it for good measure), and a mini bagel with cream cheese and lox (cream cheese on the side). The meal was yummy and I left feeling full. Dinner was a bit lighter after a heavier lunch.

Thursday night I had movie plans with friends. I skipped dinner at Chilis (in favor of a healthy dinner at home), had one small glass of wine before the movie and didn't buy any candy at the theater. Good!

Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday mornings I went to the rec center and worked hard.

Today the challenges start. Tonight we'll be going out for Thai food. Tomorrow night's sure-to-be-awesome house concert potluck and accompanying beer drinking will take some self-control. Sunday, it's another baby shower and I'm sure there will be lots of lovely, delicious food. So....

I'm going into the weekend planning for success. I'll plan ahead as much as possible. I'll make a responsible choice at dinner tonight, I'll have ONE (and only one) plate of food at the potluck and not pick over the leftovers at the end of the night, and I'll only eat smart portions of food I really like a the baby shower (rather than eating everything offered, just because it's there).

Checking In

Last week went well after my previous post. I tracked (journaled) my food and activity each day, and stayed on track with my choices and portions. I felt great going into the weekend, and did a lot of visualizing about making smart choices during several challenging events this weekend.

My results over the weekend were mixed.

Friday night: challenge #1: no dinner plans, dinner out. Response: We went to our local mexican restaurant and I ordered the Sopa Tlalpeno..chicken soup with potatoes and garbanzo beans. I know this is a low-point option at this restaurant, and it's filling. I limited the tortilla chips I ingested before our dinner came (and turned down the repeated offers to refill the basket). I ate one slice of Sadie's quesadilla (1/6th of an entire quesadilla). Overall, felt good about my choices and actions.
challenge #2: baking killer cookies for Saturday baby shower. Response: I did not inhale cookie dough while cooking (just a couple small bites). Did not have ANY cookies that night.

Saturday: challenge: baby shower at my house with lots of yummy food. Response: I ate small portions of the more fattening things and larger portions of the fruit and veggies. Ate a few bites of the cake and only a couple killer cookies. Kept drinking in control. Overall, felt good about my choices and actions.

Sunday: challenge #1: lunch out and about. We went to Qdoba and I ate a small bowl of the Mexican Gumbo and a few bites of Sadie's quesadilla. Felt good about my choices and actions.
challenge #2: White Fence Farm dinner with friends. I'm not a big fan of fried chicken (which is what this restaurant is famous for), so I knew going into it that I would order the roast turkey dinner. Overall, not thrilled with my choices and actions. I ate way too much of the sides (coleslaw, fritters, etc) and kept eating even when I wasn't hungry anymore. Didn't track everything since I don't remember everything I ate.

I came out of the weekend feeling relatively positive about how things went. Although I acted on some bad habits Sunday night, I feel happy that I didn't behave that way in all cases this weekend. I made good choices Friday and Saturday.

I went to the gym this morning and worked hard. After feeling so full and uncomfortable after last night's dinner, I packed a big bag of fruits, veggies, a hard-boiled egg, and cheese stick for lunch and snacks today. I'll eat well today, tonight and tomorrow and hope to have a positive change on the scale tomorrow!

Lessons learned:

• Limiting what I ate during dinners out and the baby shower did not lessen my enjoyment of these events at all!
• Quit eating Sadie's quesadillas!
• Only eat quantities that you'll be able to remember afterward!
  

Accountability

I'm trying something new here. It's not going to be easy, but I think it's necessary. This blog is somewhat of a safe space for me. Partly because I'm not convinced that anyone other than my mother and my husband actually read what's written here. And also because it's easier to be brutally honest in this somewhat anonymous place called a blog.

So, it's time for some accountability in my life, and I'm using this blog as a way to mix it up a bit.

I LOVE to eat. I sometimes LOVE to overeat. I don't love how I feel while I'm overeating, or afterward, but I sometimes have no control over it (or at least it feels that way).

I've worked really hard over the past 5 years (through Weight Watchers and in other ways) to rein in my habit of overeating. I LOVE LOVE LOVE how healthy and empowered I feel when I am in control of my eating habits. But that doesn't mean I always stick to it. It is so hard from me to constantly be vigilant about my eating habits. Sometimes I just get tired of having to work so hard at it.

I hold myself accountable for staying away from bad habits by going to my Weight Watchers meetings. I know a lot of people lose the weight they want to lose and then stop going to meetings and stop actively participating in the program. I'll never be that person. I will probably go to Weight Watchers meetings for the rest of my life. Even when I FINALLY (someday) reach my goal weight. It's that accountability thing.

Anyway, I'm needing a new way to hold myself accountable for my actions, because I'm feeling a bit out of control right now. So I'm going to start discussing my eating habits and their consequences on my blog for a while. And I'll start with the hard part. And then hopefully continue to have positive changes to discuss here.

So here goes. The hard part.

I've been within 3 pounds of my weight goal for 6 months. These last few pounds have been so hard for me. I make a lot of excuses....but it's behavior like this week's that is the reason I've had so much trouble.

(By the way....let me say that I have no aspirations to be Hollywood-skinny. I don't even want to be considered skinny. I think that word is so misconstrued in our thin-obsessed culture. I just want to be healthy.)

So, back to my bad behavior....The last few weeks have been full of distractions from my regular routine, celebrations, ordering in, and dinners with friends. I went into this week already feeling pretty bad about what I've eaten and how I've behaved recently. Monday I opened the halloween candy as trick-or-treaters started arriving on our street. And before anyone came home, and before anyone saw me, I probably ate (inhaled is more like it) 8 pieces of halloween candy. And continued to eat candy in this way for the rest of the night. I was eating it so quickly I didn't even taste it or enjoy it. And I felt sick afterward.

On Tuesday, the day I usually press the reset button and get my habits back on track (and the day I weigh in each week), I started off the morning with a chocolate glazed donut. A bit later, I ate the healthy breakfast I'd packed. For lunch, instead of eating the healthy lunch I'd packed, I stopped and scarfed down not one, but two huge Lauer Kraut sandwiches. Completely unnecessary and gluttonous. I overate at dinner, but managed to only have one piece of halloween candy afterward. When my generous (and well-meaning) neighbor brought homemade chocolate chip cookies over yesterday, I ate three immediately, and another one when Sadie got home.

I'm not proud to admit any of this here. These are not the eating habits that are going to help me lose these last few pounds. These are not habits that help me feel in control. This makes me feel out of control and disgusting and unhealthy and sad. This is not what I want for myself.

So. Enough with the sad story. Time for positive talk from here on out. I think that documenting my struggles and successes here will help me snap myself out of this current slippery slope I feel I'm on. So. What have I done right in the midst of all this?

• I have continued to go to the rec center three days a week and work very hard in my boot camp class. I like the way I look in the mirror. I'm stronger and more fit than I've ever been in my adult life, and I feel and look great.
• I went to Weight Watchers and weighed in! Accountability! It wasn't pretty. I gained 5 pounds in one week. Embarrassing. But, if I hadn't gone, I would have continued on the wrong path...and the bad news from the scale is what has encouraged me to shake things up a bit and turn things around.
• I went shopping (mostly unsuccessfully), and tried on several jackets, blouses, and sweaters. I automatically went for medium sized garments and found that those were all too big!!! I found that in most cases I needed a small! I can't remember the last time I bought a small anything! This was a good reminder of how far I've come in the past couple years with my weight loss. Even though I've fallen off track a bit recently, it doesn't diminish the successes I've had up until now!

I know that I will always struggle with my weight. I will always have to work hard to maintain a healthy weight. I will always have to fight against my tendency to binge and overeat and lose control. But I also know which I prefer. I prefer to be in control and healthy and energetic. I want to set a good example and be a good role model for my daughter about how to nourish yourself in a healthy way.

Before and After

Before



After!



In the past year, Brian and I have lost over 110 pounds!, and we've lost over 80 since the beginning of the year.

Quick list of changes we've made and things we do that have helped us get here

• We both generally follow a Weight Watchers plan. It consists of education about portion sizes and following the 8 Good Health Guidelines:
  1. Eat at least five servings of vegetables and fruits each day.
  2. Choose whole-grain foods, such as brown rice and oats, whenever possible.
  3. Include two servings of milk products – low fat (1%) or fat-free – each day.
  4. Have some healthy oil (olive oil, canola, sunflower, safflower or flaxseed) each day.
  5. Ensure that you are getting enough protein by choosing at least a serving or two of meat, poultry, fish, eggs, or dried beans each day. Many dairy products are also good sources of protein.
  6. Limit added sugar and alcohol.
  7. Drink at least 6 8-ounce glasses of water a day.
  8. Take a multiple vitamin-mineral supplement each day.
  Through WW, I eat tons of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, some lean proteins and low-fat or fat-free dairy, and still have room for treats so I never feel deprived. I drink LOTS of water, and get a small amount of healthy oil in every day. I LOVE the Weight Watchers program and would recommend it to anyone!

• We TRY to not go back for seconds. Brian's better about this than I am.
  

• We eat MOST meals at home, which for us makes it much easier to be healthy.

• We've both started running! I'm training for a half marathon, and Brian is very consistent about running at the rec center and around our neighborhood.

• We only weigh-in once a week, which helps us avoid getting overly excited or disappointed by the typical daily ups and downs in our weights.

• We encourage each other every day...doing this together has been such a wonderful thing for us. I can't imagine us ever going back to "before".
  

Biggest Losers

Brian and I just took part in a 12-week weight loss challenge with three other couples. It was such a great experience to do this with my husband and with these friends.

In 12 weeks I lost 14 pounds. I'm now within 10 pounds of my final weight goal and feeling better than ever!

Brian and I also joined the Rec Center in our community and I've gone from not doing much exercise (with the exception of my daily 2-mile lunchtime walk), to some really tough workouts including swimming 1200 yards, running 5 miles on the treadmill, and running 3.5-mile hilly runs in my neighborhood. I've also been motivated to try many of the fitness classes offered at the rec center, including spinning, High Intensity Interval Training (H.I.I.T.), yoga, and Zumba (which I LOVE!!).

I'm so thrilled to finally be making exercise a priority in my schedule. It's always been a struggle for me because I just don't have the time. But I've really gotten used to (and gotten to where I enjoy) getting up early 4 mornings a week and working out before I head to the office. It's just become a part of my schedule; I have a good routine figured out for getting out of the house that early; and I love the feeling of knowing I've gotten it out of the way! I'm sleeping so much better now and my body feels strong and powerful. I'm setting fitness goals for myself in the coming months to keep myself motivated. I'm going to run the Bolder Boulder (10K) on Memorial Day which I haven't done in years, and I'm pondering this women's triathalon in August!

Brian lost 33 pounds in 12 weeks! He is thinner than I've ever seen him (and weighs less than he's weighed in a very long time). Brian won the weight loss challenge for the males in the group by losing 14.6% of his body weight! I am so proud of him I can't even stand it. I will of course love my husband no matter what size or shape he is, but I can tell how good he feels on the inside and outside and that's what makes me so happy. Oh, and he's barely snoring anymore and that REALLY makes me happy!

I'm proud that Brian and I accomplished this in a healthy way that we'll be able to maintain. We both kept each other in check with our portions (which is a struggle for both of us), and encouraged each other in going to the gym. The food we eat hasn't really changed at all, but we have been making better choices when we're not at home.

This group of 8 adults lost 164 pounds in 12 weeks!!! That's an entire person! Looking at these before and after pictures is so, so inspiring to me. I'm truly thankful to my girlfriends for hatching this crazy plan and asking us to be a part of it. And I am very proud of my friends for their great successes and changed habits. We celebrated in fine style after our final weigh-in with donuts, breakfast burritos and mimosas (and cheeseburgers for dinner), but it sounds like everyone was back on track Monday morning. We're currently brainstorming ways that the eight of us can continue to support each other in the future.