Soften Into Joy

Quote from Brené Brown via Soulemama

Haven't read Brené Brown's book, nor do I know what she means when she says this...but I saw this phrase today and it truly spoke to me and where I'm at right now.

Life is full.  Busy.  Hectic.  Frantic even. And although no one specifically asks me to do many of the things I fill my days with (other than work)...I sure do fill them up.  I often come to the end of a day, especially a weekend day which some people might consider using for relaxation and rest, and I feel utterly exhausted and depleted.  I look around at what I've accomplished and I feel satisfaction...but I'm beyond worn out.

And then often, without wanting it to happen, those feelings are followed immediately by resentment, anger, and bitterness that everyone else in my home might not be working nearly as hard as I am.  I think about all the things I've accomplished and compare them directly to what others around me have (or have not) accomplished in the same time period.  And that leads down a dark path that I don't like.  At all.  In those moments (which there seem to be a lot of lately), I try so hard to remind myself of a few things...

• again...no one is asking me to take on all the the things I take on
• I take them on because I WANT TO.  The cooking, baking, gardening, house concerts, decorating, crafting, community building, entertaining, and handmaking of gifts...these things bring joy to me, my family, and the people I love, and therefore shouldn't lead to negative feelings
• it's o.k. if other people choose to spend their free time in a different way.  That's why it's called free time.

So, during this busy season of the year and this busy season of my life...I choose to change my perspective.  I choose to either find joy in this busy-ness, or do something to change it.  I choose to honor the freedom of my family members to do what they want to with their free time.  I choose to recognize that these things I fill my days with truly do make my life joyful.  I declare that rather than diving headfirst into anger and resentment, I am choosing to Soften Into Joy.

Busy busy!

I have so much blogging to catch up on!  We have been having so many lovely things happening since my most recent post.  Our last house concert of the season, Thanksgiving trip to Florida, and all the exciting holiday happenings...but I have no idea when I will actually have time to blog about them.  I'll get to it eventually.  In the meantime, these are some of my favorite things I've come across on the interweb recently.  Definitely reaching out for positive, beautiful, powerful, touching, funny stuff in light of all the horrible shit that has been going on in this country lately.  So, here it is, a little dose of love, laughter, and inspiration:

26 moments that restored our faith in humanity this year

this amazing video

I love that this mainstream commercial shows a woman breastfeeding in public.  Progress!

my favorite song from the Sufjan Stevens christmas collection

Five

Five years ago today, I wrote my first blog post ever. 

I can hardly believe it's been five years!  In a way it seems like much longer than that...but at the same time, it seems like just yesterday. 

I thought this would be a fun time to look over some old blog posts and choose some favorites...

• improvements in the gardening department!  from this to this
• preparation for Baby Peterson here and here
• birth story
• sleep deprivation is an ugly thing!
• reflections on work/motherhood and balance here, here, and here 
• a good list
• my first mother's day
• love having a place to talk openly about breastfeeding here and here and here
• remember Niles?
• documenting house concerts
• and festivals

Also using today to reflect on why on earth I take the time to keep my blog current (somewhat).  Really for me, it's just a not-so-private journal.  I've always loved writing, but I've never been a great "journaler".  I DO find that writing about things that are important to me helps me get my thoughts straight.  I like that I can passively let people in my life know how I feel about things.  ;)  I love having a way to document what we manage to fill our very busy lives with...I swear I'd never remember a thing that I've done with myself if it weren't for the blog.  I like being a part of the blogging community.  I LOVE reading other people's blogs and like having something to contribute back to the larger "blogosphere".   I never think that anyone other than my mother, a couple friends and my husband are actually reading my blog, and I'm perfectly o.k. with that.  I just like having a place to express myself openly, a place to display pictures of my family and our adventures, and place to keep track of all the fun we're having! 

A Peaceful Place

Within a year of moving into our current home, I was lucky enough to stumble upon a true gem in my community, the Sanctuary Center.  I was out driving the back roads in our area, as I like to do when getting to know a new place, and saw a small stucco building that piqued my interest.  Imagine my sheer joy when I realized what this building was all about. 

The Sanctuary Center is a place dedicated to quiet reflection and self discovery.  It encompasses several acres with gardens, benches, and statues.  There's a nice gazebo with table and chairs, and the building itself is so lovely.  There's a lending library, artwork, a guest book, and a basket of gratitude stones.  The inner room is octagonal in shape, painted beautifully, and is a perfect place to sit quietly and reflect or listen or pray.  There aren't any staff members or caretakers at the facility; it's open to the public from dawn till dusk and operates on pure trust. 

A feature of the Santuary House that we've never visited is the labyrinth.  A few weeks ago, the three of us took the short drive and visited the labyrinth for the first time.  Sadie loved looking at all the treasures that were scattered around the rocks, buried in the sand, and hanging from the trees.  She somewhat got into the idea of walking quietly and thinking or singing as we walked the path toward the center.  We'll keep working on that....

I just feel so thankful that this wonderful place is right in my community and available for us to use and enjoy and I look forward to continuing to use it as a resource for my family in the years to come.  

 

 

 

It was so good...

 
I wrote the list below on my iPad before going to sleep, late at night, after our most recent house concert with Dr. Harlan's Amazing Bluegrass Tonic.  I was SO invigorated and inspired by the night that I wanted to document my feelings before a night of sleep took away some of the magic....Can't really say much more than this...

My favorite things about tonight:

1. Family in the house: mom, dad, brother, sister-in-law, and a cousin from each side of my family.  Friends of these family members have become family to us as well...
2. Hugs. Really LONG hugs from lots of people.
3. Emotional and physical reactions to the music and the event:  Chills. Tears. Smiles.

4. Dancing hard.  Dancing with my brother.  Adam and I being the only two people in the house who were dancing at times. 
5. Feeling like our house concerts can provide a brief moment of respite, peace, and escape for ourselves and our guests.
6. THE MUSIC!!!

7. Silence like nothing I've felt before at a house concert at a certain quiet point in this song (like 3m45s).  Every person in the room was mesmerized and transfixed by the beauty of the lyrics, the voices, and the instruments.  You could just feel the soul of the music filling up the room.  Brian and I looked at each other in that moment with the biggest smiles on our faces.  It was a knowing look we gave each other.  Like, F*!& Yeah!  THIS right here is why we do this.
8.  Hearing from several of our most loyal house concert attendees that this was by far their VERY favorite house concert yet!
9.  Big, sincere, genuine, heartfelt thank yous throughout the night swirling throughout the house.  A feeling of gratitude permeated the whole evening.  Nights like these can really remind us of how much we have to be thankful for.

None of the beauty of these nights is possible without the talented and gracious musicians who perform for us every month.  We are so thankful to our friends in Dr. Harlan's for sharing their music with us. 



See more video of the night on our youtube channel.