Biggest Losers

Brian and I just took part in a 12-week weight loss challenge with three other couples. It was such a great experience to do this with my husband and with these friends.

In 12 weeks I lost 14 pounds. I'm now within 10 pounds of my final weight goal and feeling better than ever!

Brian and I also joined the Rec Center in our community and I've gone from not doing much exercise (with the exception of my daily 2-mile lunchtime walk), to some really tough workouts including swimming 1200 yards, running 5 miles on the treadmill, and running 3.5-mile hilly runs in my neighborhood. I've also been motivated to try many of the fitness classes offered at the rec center, including spinning, High Intensity Interval Training (H.I.I.T.), yoga, and Zumba (which I LOVE!!).

I'm so thrilled to finally be making exercise a priority in my schedule. It's always been a struggle for me because I just don't have the time. But I've really gotten used to (and gotten to where I enjoy) getting up early 4 mornings a week and working out before I head to the office. It's just become a part of my schedule; I have a good routine figured out for getting out of the house that early; and I love the feeling of knowing I've gotten it out of the way! I'm sleeping so much better now and my body feels strong and powerful. I'm setting fitness goals for myself in the coming months to keep myself motivated. I'm going to run the Bolder Boulder (10K) on Memorial Day which I haven't done in years, and I'm pondering this women's triathalon in August!

Brian lost 33 pounds in 12 weeks! He is thinner than I've ever seen him (and weighs less than he's weighed in a very long time). Brian won the weight loss challenge for the males in the group by losing 14.6% of his body weight! I am so proud of him I can't even stand it. I will of course love my husband no matter what size or shape he is, but I can tell how good he feels on the inside and outside and that's what makes me so happy. Oh, and he's barely snoring anymore and that REALLY makes me happy!

I'm proud that Brian and I accomplished this in a healthy way that we'll be able to maintain. We both kept each other in check with our portions (which is a struggle for both of us), and encouraged each other in going to the gym. The food we eat hasn't really changed at all, but we have been making better choices when we're not at home.

This group of 8 adults lost 164 pounds in 12 weeks!!! That's an entire person! Looking at these before and after pictures is so, so inspiring to me. I'm truly thankful to my girlfriends for hatching this crazy plan and asking us to be a part of it. And I am very proud of my friends for their great successes and changed habits. We celebrated in fine style after our final weigh-in with donuts, breakfast burritos and mimosas (and cheeseburgers for dinner), but it sounds like everyone was back on track Monday morning. We're currently brainstorming ways that the eight of us can continue to support each other in the future.

Fear Does Not Stop Death, It Stops Life

From Wikipedia: "A phobia is an irrational, intense and persistent fear of certain situations, activities, things, animals, or people. The main symptom of this disorder is the excessive and unreasonable desire to avoid the feared stimulus. When the fear is beyond one's control, and if the fear is interfering with daily life, then a diagnosis under one of the anxiety disorders can be made.^"

My phobia has a name: Ophidiophobia. I'm more than scared of snakes; I am paralyzed by the thought of encountering a snake. It doesn't matter if it's a 3-inch garter snake, a rattlesnake, or an anaconda..they're all the same to me. I remember being scared of snakes as early as first grade when I couldn't look at pictures of them on the covers of my Ranger Rick magazines, and I vividly remember running screaming out of the room when my classmate brought his bull snake for show-and-tell. I really have come to realize that this is a phobia, rather than a fear. I'm not thrilled with spiders and I don't love the dark...but I'm able to push these fears away. My feeling about snakes is irrational and gradually consuming more and more of my energy in an unhealthy way. I spend more time than I'll even admit here thinking about snakes.

This phobia of mine has intensified throughout my life. I used to happily hike and boat through the desert, and while I may have been a bit jumpy every time I heard a rustle, I still enjoyed the outdoor activities that these locations afforded. At this point in my life, I actually can't imagine going on a river trip in southern Colorado or Utah because of the snake factor. I made a new friend a year or so ago, and she asked me if I wanted to go hiking in Castlewood Canyon, a supposedly amazing and beautiful natural gem practically in my backyard, and I turned her down because I believe that there are rattlesnakes there. I will only go hiking in arid, "desert-like" locations (of which my community is in abundance) during winter months. In the summer I will drive for hours to go hiking or camping in high, alpine regions because I'm convinced that there aren't snakes in these types of places. There's a beautiful, concrete bike path near my house that runs along the creek that I used to love to walk along. One time I saw a snake from afar on the path, and I haven't been back since. Every time I go to a new place, the first thing on my mind is "what is the potential for snakes in this place?". Pathetic. For all of its beauty and its wonderful, transformative power on my life, I really think my favorite thing about living in Alaska was that there are no snakes there. NONE! Four wonderful years of not having to think about snakes. Ever. Ah, that was wonderful.

A couple summers ago, while Sadie was quietly nestled on my chest in her Ergo while I hiked along the Colorado Trail with my family, I screamed so loudly that I made her cry as I ran down the trail after being surprised by a small black snake. I fear that there are times I am not as observant as I should be when doing certain types of field work for my job because I am so worried about seeing a snake. I've woken my husband up too many times to count because I'm screaming bloody murder in the middle of the night after another snake dream. I've embarrassed myself in front of countless people because my reaction to snakes seems over-the-top and completely irrational.

Needless to say, this phobia of mine has gotten much worse as I've gotten older, and it has certainly escalated to a point where I feel like it is inhibiting my life. I also worry about passing this phobia on to Sadie...definitely something I'd like to avoid.
So, I'm currently working with my therapist to address this phobia. We briefly worked on it about 6 months ago, but we've recently decided to revisit the therapy. She is confident that this summer I will playing in the creek bed in Castlewood Canyon with Sadie.

I am by no means an expert on anxiety disorders or appropriate treatments for them (which is why I've reached out to a professional). But I thought it would be interesting to share some of this process here (and hopefully track my journey to a life free from this crippling fear).

My first step was to make a list of my top ten most-feared snake scenarios from most benign (1) to most debilitating (10). Here it is.
1. reading about a snake
2. thinking about a snake
3. seeing a live snake on TV
4. seeing a picture of a snake in a magazine
5. seeing a dead snake
6. seeing a snake in a cage
7. seeing a snake in the wild, from afar
8. seeing a snake in the wild, in close proximity
9. touching a snake
10. having a snake crawl on me

The next step was to spend some time writing the word snake over and over again. Seriously, that was actually an issue at first. But look how many times I've already said snake in this blog post! Progress!

I was also instructed to buy myself a rubber snake. I asked really nicely if she would take care of that task for me, but she insisted that I needed to do it myself. Of course I waited until the last second, and begrudgingly went to a great little toy store near my office. I finally asked where the toy snakes were and the salesperson pointed me in the right direction. I looked at this big display box of rubber snakes..and looked...and looked...and tried to talk myself into just picking one up and taking it to the counter. And I honestly couldn't do it. I finally just took the box to the counter and asked them to please put one in a bag for me. She looked at me rather strangely, but I explained what was going on, and she actually commended me for taking this step! The snake rode in the bed of my truck on the way home; I couldn't bring myself to welcome it into the cab at that point. My therapist LOVES my rubber snake (which she insisted I name...he's Herbert). He's blue. I actually started crying the first time she took him out of the bag. Really. I still haven't touched him and it's been almost a year. Really. Apparently that's happening next week. Not sure if I'm ready. I'm hoping she'll let me start with him just sitting on the couch next to me. That probably sounds crazy to most of you, that I can't even touch a fake, rubber snake. That's what I'm talking about people....irrational fear over here!

My therapist, who I truly respect and trust, is also a very big proponent of the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT), or "tapping". EFT is a form of alternative psychotherapy that uses tapping on acupuncture points to reduce the anxiety that I feel in relation to snakes. EFT is supposed to release energy blockages that cause negative emotions by tapping on meridian points on the body. It is dismissed by many people as a being psuedoscientific, but there are also many proponents of the power of this technique for all types of anxiety disorders and stress management. And I'm really willing to try anything.

So, we're also using EFT during this process. We start out by discussing one of the scenarios I listed above, I assess my anxiety level, and rate it on a scale between 1 and 10. Because we've started at the beginning of the list, my anxiety level is usually between a 5 and 7 (just from talking about these scenarios, not actually experiencing them). After going through a series of tapping exercises on various points on my body, I reassess my anxiety level. In all cases, I've found that it seems to have decreased.

The idea is that within a relatively short period of time, my emotional reaction to snakes won't be something that I "hook" onto. I can see that this is the problem. I experience a moment of intense fear whenever I see or hear about a snake, but then it stays with me. If I see a snake on the side of the road, I'm sure that it has somehow gotten into the car and I can actually imagine that I feel it crawling on me for the rest of the day or longer. If I see a picture of a snake, I continue to replay that image in my mind for days, and experience the accompanying fear over and over again.

Apparently, there will also be an actual snake involved towards the end of this process (duh). My therapist's children are going to catch me a pencil snake once we're well into spring. I don't know what that is. I'd google it, but obviously, that's something I'd prefer not to see a picture of.

That's the reason I've put off dealing with this for so long...because I assumed (correctly) that any sort of snake therapy would inevitably involve a snake...which until now I've been unwilling to consider. But whether it's for Sadie's sake, or because I just want to get on with my life, I've really committed myself to addressing this phobia and sincerely hope that I can make some progress...I'm tired of snakes. It's either this, or move back to Alaska.

Pinterest

From the folks at Pinterest: "Think of Pinterest as a virtual pinboard — a place where you can create collections of things you love and "follow" collections created by people with great taste. People use Pinterest to collect and share all sorts of things -- wedding inspiration, favorite T-shirts, DJ equipment. You name it, people are pinning it. We know you have great taste in something. Our mission is to make Pinterest the best place for you to share your taste with the world."

My new favorite way to waste time on the internet. It's a place for me to get lots of fun ideas and helps me organize my daydreams. I have several "pinboards" of inspiration including style (mostly clothes and shoes), craft ideas, food, and a general inspiration board which mostly consists of quotes I love. My favorite is my Dream Home pinboard....it's great to have a place to keep all the little snippets that I'd love to incorporate into my dream home.

If you join Pintrest, make sure and find me there at rachandlily

Best Night Ever!

(photo by Lauren Zimmerman)

This may have been one of our best house concerts yet! We had a record breaking crowd at well over 50, and one of my very favorite Colorado bands in the house.

It is so exciting to see a band early in their career. I think big things are going to happen for Finders and Youngberg and I'm so impressed by the beautiful, heartfelt, meaningful, original, (sometimes funny) music they are making!

The crowd was truly on fire during this show. The applause after the first song sounded more like "last-song-of-the-night-encore" applause. I think everyone who was lucky enough to see Finders and Youngberg play that night was as blown away as I was.

Nights like this make me so deeply grateful for the opportunity to host house concerts and share this amazing music with family, friends, and other people who love music as much as Brian and I do. And of course I will always be in awe of the raw talent of musicians like the five folks in this band. Thank you Finders and Youngberg for sharing your music with us!

It was a night I will never forget. And you really can't beat not having to go anywhere after the show and being able to put on yoga pants for the pick in your living room.


They are so freakin' good...check these videos out.....

What I Eat

I spend SO much time planning and preparing for what I'm going to eat, and even more time thinking about what I have eaten, am eating, and will eat. It's exhausting sometimes.

I've come to terms with the fact that I am a woman who will always need to be VERY conscious about what I eat. This is a good thing in some ways. I believe that it's important to pay attention to what you're putting in your body and what you're feeding your family. I believe that spending time thinking about the source of your food and the practices under which it's produced are important. And I believe that one way in which I can show the universe that I'm thankful to have such an abundance of food in my life is to slow down, think about it, enjoy every bite, and not eat more than I need to sustain and fuel myself.I also know that I have a pretty serious sweet tooth, a love of cheese and cream and butter and cheeseburgers and chocolate, and I have a severe tendency to overeat if I let myself. A lot of the emotional and logistical energy expended by my brain is devoted to food. But I'm o.k. with that.

I was raised eating pretty healthy food (no sugar cereal or candy for this girl) and sat down to a delicious homemade dinner cooked by my mother every night (almost always at the dining room table, too). I'm eternally grateful for this healthy start. My mom gardened and went to the farmer's market, and I learned a lot from joining her during these activities. But food is also a big part of my family culture. When I vacation with my extended family, we start talking about what the plan is for the next meal, before we've even finished the prior meal! In my family, we LOVE to eat, we use it as a form of celebration and community, and we show how much we care about each other through the food we prepare.

My relationship with food, and the accompanying changes in my health and weight, ebbs and flows and will probably always be in a state of flux. I've learned to accept that there are times when I am "on" and times when I am definitely "off". Sometimes, it will be circumstantial ...like when I gained 20 pounds while studying for my P.G. exam (I swear those chocolate donuts and candy are what got me through all the endless hours looking at books and running calculations).
But for right now, my relationship with food is healthy and positive and empowering. I've talked before about how much I love the Weight Watchers program. I've been a member of Weight Watchers since November of 2007 and continue to believe that it is a wonderful nutritional program that steers me toward a healthy relationship with food. I know that WW used be like a lot of other wacky, fad, "diets" (these WW cards from the 1970s make me laugh SO hard every time I look through them, make sure to read the accompanying comments). These days, though, WW is a very scientifically sound nutritional program that follows guidelines that any doctor or nutritionist would tell you to adhere to. It consists of education about portion sizes and following the 8 Good Health Guidelines:
1. Eat at least five servings of vegetables and fruits each day.
2. Choose whole-grain foods, such as brown rice and oats, whenever possible.
3. Include two servings of milk products – low fat (1%) or fat-free – each day.
4. Have some healthy oil (olive oil, canola, sunflower, safflower or flaxseed) each day.
5. Ensure that you are getting enough protein by choosing at least a serving or two of meat, poultry, fish, eggs, or dried beans each day. Many dairy products are also good sources of protein.
6. Limit added sugar and alcohol.
7. Drink at least 6 8-ounce glasses of water a day.
8. Take a multiple vitamin-mineral supplement each day.
Through WW, I eat tons of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, some lean proteins and low-fat or fat-free dairy, and still have room for treats so I never feel deprived. I drink LOTS of water, and get a small amount of healthy oil in every day. I LOVE the Weight Watchers program and would recommend it to anyone!

I am currently about 10-13 pounds away from what I have set for myself as a goal and a weight I'd like to maintain for the rest of my life. This goal is within (and actually pretty close to the top) of the healthy weight and BMI range for my age and height. And boy are these last ~10 pounds tough to shed!

Brian and I are also involved in a couples weight loss challenge with three other couples. We're 7 weeks into the 12-week challenge, and at our mid-point weigh-in, we'd collectively lost 100 pounds!!! Brian and I have lost 30 pounds between the two of us, and are in a close second for the $300 reward! I am SO, SO proud of my husband for his 20+ pound weight loss....it's really exciting to be working towards better health together and he is definitely what is keeping me motivated some days.

So, back to the food. I think the reason so many people in this country are overweight or obese is in part because it takes a lot of work and time to prepare and eat healthy food. What a shame that we've made it more convenient (and sometimes cheaper) for people to be unhealthy! But it's always been worth it to me to invest the time, money, and effort that it takes to plan for and feed my family and myself wholesome food.

In addition to cooking healthy meals for my family, I'm also still struggling to find the balance as a full-time working mama...so making something easy and quick is just as important. I've gotten into a good routine with my meals throughout the day and I'm having a lot of fun trying some new recipes and playing with new flavors.

BREAKFAST

"When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to yourself?" "What's for breakfast?" said Pooh. "What do you say, Piglet?" "I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet. Pooh nodded thoughtfully. "It's the same thing," he said." — A.A. Milne

Breakfast most mornings during a work week is a bowl of fruit (always a sliced banana, and a handful of berries such as strawberries, blueberries, or blackberries), a 1/4 cup of hemp granola from the bulk section of Sprouts, and a 1/4 cup of this delicious yogurt. I go for the full fat, cream-top yogurt...it's so creamy and delicious and fine in such a small portion. I also have a cup of earl grey tea with a bit of cream and sugar, and 12 oz water with 2 teaspoons of Bragg's Apple Cider Vinegar. This breakfast sustains me for a few hours and gives me great energy to start off the day. I've been a loyal coffee drinker for over a decade, with the exception of during my pregnancy. But since my cleanse I haven't started completely back to drinking coffee every morning...I save it for the weekends and for a special treat for myself on Fridays sometimes. I find that I don't experience the "crash" mid-afternoon that I used to when I had coffee every morning, and I love that!

On the weekends I usually make something more exciting like an egg with some veggies in a corn tortilla.

I'm also thinking that as I try to lose these last 10 pounds I may re-incorporate green smoothies into my morning routine.

I always have a banana around 9:30/10:00 a.m. and drink most of the water in my water bottle.

LUNCH
"Want to have a short phone call with someone? Call them at 11:55 a.m., right before lunch. They'll talk fast. You may think you are interesting, but you are not more interesting than lunch." — Randy Pausch (The Last Lecture)

Lunch is almost always leftovers from dinner the night before or leftover soup from Sunday Soup (see below). I also have a sliced apple, and more water.

By about 2:30/3:00 I'm ready for another snack, which usually consists of a sliced pear, a cup of Caffeine Free Original Good Earth Tea, and sometimes popcorn (94% fat free Jollytime). I'd like to start popping my own popcorn and avoid all the preservatives that are surely in the store-bought low-calorie popcorn. Need to look into this....

DINNER
"These are hard times. The world hurts. We live in fear and forget to walk with hope. But hope has not forgotten you. So ask it to dinner. It's probably hungry and would appreciate the invitation." — Libba Bray (Going Bovine)

Dinner is the most exciting meal of the day for me, because it's where I get to be the most creative in the kitchen. I LOVE cooking dinner. I love planning a week's worth of dinners, shopping for the best and most affordable ingredients, and seeing how far I can stretch my grocery budget. The feeling of satisfaction I get from sitting down to a freshly prepared meal with my family every night is one of the best moments of my day.

On Sundays, after what is usually a busy weekend (they all are, for us...), I like to make a big pot of soup, "Sunday Soup". I have this book and this book which are chock full of great soup recipes. A favorite is a very easy minestrone that uses tomato juice as a base and is loaded with good veggies and whole wheat pasta. I've been making this roasted tomato soup with rosemary for years and never get tired of it. I'm quite proud of my matzoh ball soup (I use the Manichewitz mix, but also my own chicken stock and chicken and load it with veggies. My matzoh balls are floaters...as they should be). Our new favorite soup is this Avgolomeno from Time for Dinner, (my new favorite cookbook). I received this beautiful soup crock for Christmas from my in-laws and it makes Sunday Soup so pretty!On Tuesday nights, my mom brings dinner for us and it's the BEST THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD!!! She started doing this for me when I first went back to work after having Sadie, and since she's at our house watching Sadie on Tuesdays, it works out pretty well. Tuesday nights are when I go to my Weight Watchers meeting, so it's also nice because I get home later on those nights and Brian just has to throw my mom's food in the oven. Just having dinner taken care of this one night a week is such a luxury. I will never be able to adequately thank my mother for this thoughtful gesture but I hope she knows how very much we appreciate her for this! Not to mention that my mom is the best cook I know....

On Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights I cook dinner, or Brian and I collaborate on dinner. A lot of nights, I'll get things started and then he'll finish up because I'm busy playing with Sadie. Brian also does the dishes almost every single night, which gives me more time with Sadie before her bedtime. Some of my favorite go-to weeknight recipes are this healthy jambalaya, fritattas (eggs with whatever veggies are around and sometimes potatoes), roasted or grilled veggies with brown rice or whole wheat pasta (I have this grill wok which I love) portabella mushroom fajitas, roast chicken, homemade spaghetti sauce, breakfast for dinner (eggs, corn tortillas, green chiles, avocado, cilantro and oven baked homfries), and sausage and peppers over polenta. Recently we tried a couple meals we really like including bacon/avocado/tomato sandwiches, and a mexican-style brown rice casserole (with homemade refried beans, corn, spinach and green chiles). I love the beans and toast recipe from Time for Dinner for a quick 5-minute dinner. Special dinners for Friday and Saturday nights include meatloaf and potatoes, and homemade pizza. We also have a lot of great restaurants in Castle Rock that we like to save for special occasions.

Other notes about dinner...

• My mom buys a bushel or more of fresh roasted green chiles for us from a Hispanic part of Denver every fall. The freezer is full of small baggies of these chiles and we go through about a bag a week. We add them to everything!
• We also are lucky enough to purchase (or have gifted) an 1/8th of an organic, grass-fed, free-range, local cow every fall. The meat is VERY lean and preservative free and I feel great using this as our main source of meat. We probably use a pound or two of ground beef a week but also eat vegetarian meals several nights a week.
  
• We all have a glass of skim milk with dinner (including Sadie).
  
• Dinner with a toddler is not peaceful, slow, or productive most nights in our house. It can sometimes be a very frustrating part of the day for the whole family. Sadie doesn't usually eat a lot at dinnertime, which we really don't worry about too much. We figure, if she's hungry, she'll eat. But she doesn't want US to eat, either, which is not o.k. I think we've finally taught her that she needs to wait until Mama is done eating before she can insist that I get up and play with her. She still wants to spend most of dinnertime climbing on the dining room table, the kitchen island, or the backs of the chairs...all unsafe activities at this point. We're continuing to try to find creative ways to to make it through the dinner hour with our sense of humor intact, possibly while having at least a minute or two of adult conversation, without all ending up screaming at each other or crying, without breaking any limbs, and without having to wolf our food down in seconds flat in order to avoid disaster. I'll keep you posted on our progress.....