Monday, September 28, 2009

A Season of Reflection

Oh my goodness, how did it get to be the end of September? How did my baby get to be 7 1/2 months old? How did I end up "well into my 30's" (as my husband would say about being 31)? Time is flying by so quickly that it's making me a bit uneasy. Sometimes I feel like I want to just run outside and shout at the top of my lungs....

But, alas, screaming at the sky won't slow things down a bit. Time will just keep passing more and more quickly every day. So I'm left with doing my best to take a deep breath, enjoy every moment, and make time for the important stuff. And wow, is that tough. Some days I'm not sure I'm doing so well with that. But....I'm trying. My mantra for this fall season is


Now that the "newness" of being back at work has worn off, I'll admit that I'm struggling with being a working mom. I've always been a great multi-tasker, which has allowed me to keep a handle on this busy life of mine. I've somehow always managed to kick ass at my job; stay involved in lots of extracurricular activities; grocery shop and cook most of our meals; be a voracious reader of magazines, books, and a couple newspapers; knit as often as I felt the urge; listen to, watch, and make music; watch TV and movies; sometimes practice my mandolin; keep a very clean house; spend time outdoors; keep up with my blog; stay in frequent touch and spend lots of time with my friends and family; spend quality time with my husband; and more. And I somehow did it all without feeling overly stressed out or exhausted (at least not all the time).

Well...these days, I feel as if I'm not doing so well at even one of those things, much less all of them. And it's unsettling to me. My priority is my family. Sadie and Brian are number one and I will sacrifice all of the other stuff in order to spend quality time with them. But, it's not quite that straightforward, is it?

To me, part of providing for my family is feeding them healthy, homemade meals. And that takes a lot of time. To me, part of providing for my family is to have a clean, uncluttered home where my family and friends can gather. And that takes a lot of time. To me, part of being a good mother is making conscious choices for (and with) my family about the food we eat, the products we use, the consumer goods we buy and accept as gifts, the chemicals we put in our bodies, and the impact we have on our environment. And that takes a lot of time (and research). To me, part of being a good wife and mother is taking care of myself by doing the things that are important to me. And that takes time too....

So, what do I do about all this? I prioritize. I make a schedule. And I take lots of deep breaths.

Some quotes I've been collecting as inspiration...

“What we are teaches the child far more than what we say, so we must be what we want our children to become.” —Joseph Chilton Pearce

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves." — (Holy Bible: The King James Bible)

"To lose balance sometimes for love is part of living a balanced life." — Elizabeth Gilbert (Eat, Pray, Love: One Woman's Search for Everything Across Italy, India and Indonesia)

"Remember that life's a great balancing act..." — Dr. Seuss (Oh, the Places You'll Go!)

"If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?" — Milton Berle

It's so easy to love the easy, happy moments. How about loving all of it? Say to yourself a thousand times a day nothing else matters but this right here. (


nikki's spot said...

Very well put! Don't worry, I think all of our life will be spent looking for some sort of balance. I sure know I don't have it figured out yet!

The Homeschooled Guy said...

I strive for balance daily. And like life is about the journey and not the destination, I believe I will always be striving for balance. With that, I am confident in my constant attempts and thus at peace. As apposed to thinking "everything is so overwhelming and if I can just get my ducks in a row, if I can JUST, then I will be fine." For me, that creates anxiety and essentially tosses any notion of balance out the window.

I thought of this quote I found excerpted in Resa Steindel Brown's, "The Call to Brilliance":

"The Fact that you are not yet dead is not sufficient proof that you are alive." Brother David Steindl-Rast